Motherhood and what to expect
So, I’m a Mum! I’m somebody’s Mother! 8 months after my baby boy being born, and I still have moments where I am shook that I’m a Mum. Wow it’s a rollercoaster! I like to describe it as a beautiful rollercoaster; the most fun, the one that gets your stomach giddy, where the gush of wind hits your face on the downward turn - makes your eyes stream & sometimes makes you scream, but it’s a ride that you want to go on again and again because the highs are just so amazing. I certainly don’t ever want to get off this ride.
I think I was born to be a Mummy, especially as I played with my dolls way longer than all my friends too! I’ve always loved babies; my Nan owned two children’s daycare nurseries that both my Mum and Aunty worked at & I even worked after school there too! Despite being around babies’ lots - even with everything I thought being a Mum entailed – nothing would have prepared me in the slightest.
All the clichés are true though, especially the one where Mums will tell you that it’s a love you’ve never felt before. It really is! It’s the deepest love I’ve ever felt, I only have to look at my baby and my heart feels strong and weak at the same time. It’s hard to describe but these babies have the powers to make you fall more in love each time you look at them.
Motherhood is so beautiful, but there are of course some not so beautiful sides to it. But to me, ever the optimist, I think that’s what makes the journey so incredible.
‘The inner strength that Mums have mean we are all super women. When you think, you can’t do something - you can!’
Sleep was my best friend pre-baby, - I thought that I was tired flying from country to country for work -, however when dealing with a teething baby, my eyes sting with tiredness. If you think (like I did) that you’re worried about being a parent because you’re ‘too selfish’ and you enjoy life, do not worry about that! Firstly, you have no choice but to put this babies needs first- and you can still be selfish of course. It’s super important to look after yourself and your happiness. Happy mum happy baby, right?! But, you’re on an adventure where, even if you’re too tired to function, you have no choice but to function and look after your baby. When you think, you can’t do something - you can! The inner strength that Mums have mean we are all super women. I didn’t think I could even birth a baby - like how?! I didn’t know that I could do it - though I kept telling myself this is what women are meant to do - it still amazes me. And I’m still in awe that I got my baby out of me. All 9lb 9oz of him!
You’ll do things with one hand that surprise you!
As you can probably tell, I’m quite a chilled person & that’s how my approach to being pregnant (in a pandemic might I add) and throughout motherhood, I hope to always be. I can join in on the moans of having children but there is no point. You can either be stressed about a situation and make it worse or you can think positively and see the funny side to some of the messy parts of parenthood.
There are sooo many skills you can pick up on when being a Mum. I’ve amazed myself at some of the things being a Mum has shown me that I’m capable, like being able to carry out a multitude of things with one hand. I’ve even peed on a moving train, whilst holding my baby! Poor Rupert, but I wasn’t going to wet myself (Rupert’s nappies don’t fit my bum for one!), and so… I did what I had to do. I held my baby in one hand and pulled down my pants in another, that’s something I feel very proud of.
‘The best advice I have kept with me is to look after yourself, put your needs first some days - take time for you!’
Now, as for the fear of not being able to enjoy life now that you have a baby- that’s a load of rubbish! Babies make everything a million times better. OK, you may not be able to have a hangover like before where you lay in bed all day and only move to answer the door to Deliveroo, but instead you get up and go. You find some energy to crack on with every single 24 hours of that day and make the most of it. Someone to cuddle is a bonus too!
Another positive is that I have found that I enjoy work even more now, I’m working for my baby, I’m working for me, and I’m working to have a little time off from being just a Mum all day. When you’re a Mum, there are so many overwhelming pieces of advice that people give you, I listened to all the Mummy podcasts when I was pregnant and trying to make note of how to be the ‘perfect parent’ but there is no such thing. The best advice I have kept with me is to look after yourself, put your needs first some days - take time for you! For me, I like to make sure I get up and do a workout to start my day in the right mindset, and/or my partner also has the baby if I need a nap. No sleep and not exercising, for me, makes me a different person.
Understand what makes you happy and don’t give that up, because time apart from baby doing something for yourself makes you go back to your baby a hundred times a better Mum.
My best advice in a pandemic…
And if you’re reading this and you’re pregnant right now - I’m so excited for you! Whether your baby is born in lockdown or not (mine was), I found that the most beautiful moments from it were that you have the time to learn the ropes of being a mum and a new family together in your bubble, with no noise or interruptions or thinking that you must get dressed for visitors coming over. Enjoy this stillness that the world is giving us right now because again, another cliché, but that newborn phase goes so fast.
Soak it all in… and breathe.
@lucymooremodel | Mama to Rupert 8 months